Poem: Strength and Unity: MRKH Warrior Strong

Grief has its own unique way of isolating us into a cruel, dark world we don't always know how to come back from. It is in these moments we struggle the most, yet draw the most inspiration. A good friend of mine, Meredith Brookes, recently passed away after a brief illness on Sept. 22. The last conversation we had was on Sept. 20th, 2 days before she passed. We had finally narrowed down a date about 10 days later to finally get together - the first time since she moved closer to me this summer. That conversation made the news of her unexpected passing that much harder to process. And then, I heard on Oct. 2nd, the day after we had planned to do something that she was gone...making me feel guilty I hadn't reached out to her sooner and more often.

Yet, I know she was watching over me somehow, leading me to write this poem about our friendship, and her commitment to the MRKH community.

Strength and Unity: MRKH Warrior Strong

All through the years, I'd yearned for a connection like ours.
I hoped that one day I wouldn't be alone in this battle.
I waited, patiently, for you, my friend.
And yet, here we are...

You've come and gone.
We had a bond, so strong.
Stronger through the mutual struggles, forged into
MRKH Warrior Strong.

My heart, and your heart spoke so eloquently
Our souls knew the same language.
You will always be my soul sister.
My MRKH Warrior Sister.

I didn't have to explain myself to you.
You somehow knew, without a doubt,
just what to say to make me laugh.
You knew, yet without knowing, that your sarcasm
and morbid humor would make everything better in it's own way.
You knew, in the way that only a fellow MRKH Warrior could know.

And like the phoenix, our sisters and I will rise together
from this grief, we'll build a stronger foundation.
We will rise together to discover our newfound life without you.
We will forge ahead into the unknown,
amidst the ashes left behind.
We will rise in the face of adversity
in honor of your image, and with your strength.

We will rise together as one, in unity...
MRKH WARRIOR STRONG.

Three Small Steps that Could Change the World

This post is related to: One Thing the World Needs More Of: Compassion. Both subjects started out as journal prompts, and I had an easy answer for both. Three words immediately popped into my head: education, compassion and tolerance. These three things are needed more than ever in the world today. These three "small" steps are more important than ever, and could easily change the world considering the amount of hate and crime in the world in recent years, and more recently with the backlash to President Trump's election in the U.S. and his subsequent inauguration and executive orders.

Survivor Love Letter

Dear Survivor of Sexual Abuse,

This Valentine's Day and every day, celebrate that you or a loved one, are a survivor of sexual abuse. Remind yourself that what happened is not your fault. You are better than what happened. You are loved. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are a survivor. You are a warrior. You are still here, still alive, still fighting for yourself and that makes you strong and worthy of everything good in this world. I hope you realize that it is okay to not be okay, and just as important to not stay there in those shitty moments. Keep making the choice to get back up and battle against your inner demons.

Make today the day you take a step towards healing. Try to answer the question, what does self-care mean to you? An article on Bustle speaks about Tani Ikeda's version of self-care that included writing her own Survivor Love Letter in 2015. She later created the #SurvivorLoveLetter hashtag on social media on Valentine's Day 2016, "to empower survivors of sexual violence." Simply search #SurvivorLoveLetter on any given social media site, and you'll see that it has taken the sites by love storm again today on the third anniversary. I hope that reading those messages on social media shows you that don't have to get through this alone. The world loves you, and knows that you are enough. Together we will prove that victim blaming is wrong.

If you feel up to it, I recommend reading a personal account of sexual abuse called Invisible Target: Breaking the Cycle of Educator Abuse by Andrea Clemens. She is a survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a then-admired teacher and wrote this book to tell her story as part of her healing process and in the hopes of helping others with similar experiences.

Poem: A Bucket List Consists of Peace & Happiness

create your own happiness

love yourself first
go to bed early
get up early
wake up with a smile

exercise
drink water
treat your body like a temple
you are its god
worship yourself

be modest
treat others the way you want to be treated
give respect to get respect
give love to receive love
read. write. educate yourself.

be kind.
create a bucket list.
complete your bucket list -
before you kick the bucket
travel

be happy alone
learn to live alone happily
be honest, yet tactful
be the person you needed when you were younger
understand that it's okay to not be okay

you are stronger than you realize
breathe deep
indulge yourself
find a healthy stress reliever
don't rely too heavily on any one person or thing

meditate
find balance
you're going to be okay -
because you already are

Create Your Own Happiness

I spent today at a free-form writer's retreat in Grand Isle, VT, sponsored by the Burlington Writer's Workshop. My plan was to work on a personal essay, which I did, and then I got distracted by one of my favorite quotes. I'm not quite sure who wrote it, but it's definitely awe inspiring!

It reminds me a lot of another quote I love, "Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don’t just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it."

Both of these inspired me to write this poem:

Create Your Own Happiness
Embrace the people who support you
and cheer you through the bad times.
They're the ones who will celebrate your successes.

You will need to actively and consciously remove yourself from the drama
and the people who create it because it's not just a one time thing.

Be the change you wish to see in your own life
and you'll be able to naturally apply that to the rest of your life
and to be the change your meant to have in the world.

Realize that you are a work in progress.
You are constantly evolving.
Every aspect of your life will change, sometimes slowly
and sometimes suddenly and unexpectedly.
Sometimes the change is a planned choice
and sometimes it's an unintentional external force.
How you choose to manage that change will determine your success.

Confront your demons head on.
Grab them by the horns and bring them down.
They will battle you day in and day out.
Some days they will win, leaving you feeling defeated.
The important piece to remember is to not let that defeat consume you.
Choose happiness.
Choose to get back up after falling
and get back to living.
Create your own happiness.
Be who you want to be.

Be Kind, Always

Think about a time in your life when you were going through something difficult, such as grieving the death of a loved one or a job loss or bad breakup, etc. Think about how it felt when someone unexpectedly said or did something positive for you. Even if it was a small gesture, it made your day, right?

Now say or do something like that for someone today, and every day. Even a simple, "you look good in that color shirt" or a "hope you're doing well! I'm thinking about you" will suffice.

Last night after a long week, I had 2 friends unexpectedly tell me I'm strong enough. It made me feel important, appreciated, and loved.

Never underestimate the power of positive thoughts and kind words. A positive attitude and reinforcement from friends, family, or even strangers, will help you through the most difficult times and even affect your health in the greatest way possible.

As Minor Myers Jr. said, "go into the world and do well. But more importantly, go into the world and do good."

Inspirational Quote of the Day

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end." -- Author unknown

This is so true. After many years it doesn't matter how much you loved each other in the beginning, it's how strong of a foundation you built with each other. Similar to a house or other building - if the foundation is not sound, it's not going to hold so the slightest bit of storm or hardship is going to do its damage and sooner rather than later, it'll give out. If the foundation is strong, it'll weather the storms.