Poem: She's Tired

She said she's fine
And you took her word for it?
Let me tell you,
she isn't fine.

She's tired.
She's tired of being tired.
Tired of being broken down.
Tired of being strong all the time.
Tired of being let down, disappointed.
She's tired of the never-good-enough pain.
She's tired of always being judged,
always being held to higher standards than men.

She's tired of the frustration.
She's tired of always fighting an uphill battle
towards a glass ceiling.
She's tired of repeatedly telling herself she's good enough,
when no one else will.
She's tired of building others up
when she doesn't get it in return.

She's tired.
She's tired of being tired.
Tired of dragging herself out of bed.
Tired of going through the motions with no satisfaction.

Next time, don't take her word for it when she says she's fine.

Review: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
Published September 2015 by Bloomsbury
Paperback, 276 pages
Read: September 20-27, 2016

This is the book I needed to read right here, right now in this chapter of my life. I saw this sitting on a friends coffee table in May. I've been struggling with finding my inspiration and sticking with it. Gilbert managed to tell me in her own unique way that maybe, just maybe, what I'm doing isn't so wrong after all and that I'm on the right track. Keeping my day job to pay bills is the logical thing to do until I feel confident that I can rely on my artistic endeavors to support me. There's also nothing wrong with taking the leap into the unknown and quitting your day job to focus solely on your artistic projects. This same friend of mine who read this book in the spring, took such a leap and she's doing very well for herself. We met through our day jobs and she got to a point where she was no longer feeling appreciated and creative so she took a leap to quit her 9-5 job in April to go to work for herself as a marketing and social media consultant for non-profits, start-ups, and small businesses. She couldn't be happier, and it's reassuring to see it work for her and so then maybe, just maybe, it might work for me too.

From Elizabeth's personal stories to others stories she's shared, each one had a purpose of being an example of the point she was trying to make. It was obvious that she wrote this book for herself, not for any one else. She even flat out said so and that's where I knew I had to keep reading. She drove home the fact that to create your own big magic you need to do it for you and only then will it actually happen. As soon as you start doing it for others, it'll take away the happiness, the real inspiration, and will block the creative juices from flowing, and your break through will fail to happen. And if you're not getting the results you want, take some time away from that project and focus on something else for awhile and that new project just may even be the answer or solution you've been looking for all along.

I could keep going and will stop here to say that you need to read the book for yourself because you might even get something completely different out of it depending on where you're at in your life journey.

Review: Dune by Frank Herbert

Dune by Frank Herbert
Published 1999 by Ace (first published December 1st 1965)
Hardcover, 517 pages

On Goodreads, I set the "Date finished this book" as "Date I gave up on this book" because I had a hard time getting into it and following everything. Reading sci-fi is just not my thing, but I persevered and somehow made much more progress with this book than I did with The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch. That book is a post for another day if I could ever get into it again.

With Dune, I made a point of reading as much as I could, which was 83 pages out of 517, and still attend the discussion tonight with Vermont Books 'n' Brews at Cattails Restaurant in Brandon, VT. Generally speaking, I felt like there are way too many details to remember for me to be engrossed in it early enough to stick with the story. Being a stubborn reader though, I gave it a chance and took the advice of the person who recommended it and kept reading. He pointed out that the first time he read it he struggled for the first 100 pages or so, but then cruised to the end.

Because of Herbert's writing style, I could tell right away and understand why it's such a classic, especially in the sci-fi genre. That helped a little bit in keeping me interested - that and it's subtle similarities to Star Wars, which made me wonder if George Lucas drew some inspiration from Herbert's stories. Although I picked up right away that there were some dated material (like blatant sexism and technological advances of the time), I was able to recognize why Frank Herbert has been hailed a classic sci-fi author and why so many people who enjoy sci-fi enjoy his writing.

That said, I'm not sure that I'll be able to ever finish the book since it was such a struggle for me to even get into. I feel comfortable being able to say no to this one and be okay with not finishing it, and therefore I am not going to rate this book because it would be an unfair subjective rating of something I highly dislike. Certain genres are not for everyone.

Rating: Abandoned (0 out of 5 on Goodreads)

Review: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

Station Eleven is such a hauntingly beautiful dystopian work of art. I don't normally enjoy dystopia futuristic type genres, but this one definitely held my attention once I sat down and made a point of reading. I loved the traveling symphony orchestra and Shakespeare caravan. I was also fascinated that people were living out of gas stations and restaurants instead of abandoned houses - it made me question why? Are the houses filled with ghosts of the past? Are they too much of a reminder of what was? This is just one example of how the tension between the old world and the new surfaces as the population revert back to an age where advancements only exist in the minds of those old enough to remember.

The characters are as much tragic as they are charming, looking for answers in an age where curiosities can no longer be entered into a search engine. I was curious to know if any of the characters in the separate stories cross paths at some point, especially Clark, Jeevan, and Kirsten, and if they figure out how they're connected.

St. John Mandel's writing style is a bit lyrical, which gives the story a character all its own in a sense, which is a great touch, and perhaps on purpose because of the symphony orchestra. The different perspectives and stories of the characters also gives the story an interesting and attractive twist. It's something that Jodi Picoult, my favorite author, does that I love. St. John Mandel and Picoult both have a way of seamlessly moving between character plots and making the story work over all.

I highly recommend this to readers of all genres, even if this isn't your typical genre. Keep your mind open to new possibilities, and you'll be pleasantly surprised by what you find - you just might find some gems.

**
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Format: Paperback
336 pages