Poem: Strength and Unity: MRKH Warrior Strong

Grief has its own unique way of isolating us into a cruel, dark world we don't always know how to come back from. It is in these moments we struggle the most, yet draw the most inspiration. A good friend of mine, Meredith Brookes, recently passed away after a brief illness on Sept. 22. The last conversation we had was on Sept. 20th, 2 days before she passed. We had finally narrowed down a date about 10 days later to finally get together - the first time since she moved closer to me this summer. That conversation made the news of her unexpected passing that much harder to process. And then, I heard on Oct. 2nd, the day after we had planned to do something that she was gone...making me feel guilty I hadn't reached out to her sooner and more often.

Yet, I know she was watching over me somehow, leading me to write this poem about our friendship, and her commitment to the MRKH community.

Strength and Unity: MRKH Warrior Strong

All through the years, I'd yearned for a connection like ours.
I hoped that one day I wouldn't be alone in this battle.
I waited, patiently, for you, my friend.
And yet, here we are...

You've come and gone.
We had a bond, so strong.
Stronger through the mutual struggles, forged into
MRKH Warrior Strong.

My heart, and your heart spoke so eloquently
Our souls knew the same language.
You will always be my soul sister.
My MRKH Warrior Sister.

I didn't have to explain myself to you.
You somehow knew, without a doubt,
just what to say to make me laugh.
You knew, yet without knowing, that your sarcasm
and morbid humor would make everything better in it's own way.
You knew, in the way that only a fellow MRKH Warrior could know.

And like the phoenix, our sisters and I will rise together
from this grief, we'll build a stronger foundation.
We will rise together to discover our newfound life without you.
We will forge ahead into the unknown,
amidst the ashes left behind.
We will rise in the face of adversity
in honor of your image, and with your strength.

We will rise together as one, in unity...
MRKH WARRIOR STRONG.

Review: Commonwealth by Ann Patchett

Commonwealth by Ann Patchett
Audiobook, 8 hours
Published September 13, 2016 by HarperAudio
Dates Read/Listened: Aug. 8 - Sept. 17, 2017

This was the first book I've read or listened to by Ann Patchett. The story followed Bert Cousins and Beverly Keating, who married after they fell for each other at a christening. Patchett seemed to sensitively address the issues of two individuals who fell in love despite being married to other people and both having children from those marriages. Relationships are complicated as it is, let alone adding infidelity and children to the mix.

While the story had many interesting points, I often found myself zoning out and not really paying attention to the story so when I did tune back in, I was lost and not sure exactly what "time" it was in the book. This is why it took me 6 weeks to get through it, which in turn also added to my inability to keep track of where I was because I'd forget details after so much time passed between listening sessions. Although, there did seem to be quite a few chronological "leaps" in the story and Patchett assumed the reader would follow along without clarifying exactly when events were taking place. She'd also reference certain events that happen in the past as a flashback or a memory, but then come back to present day, which left a reader (or listener) utterly confused as to what exactly happened when.

One thing I did find interesting was the concept of the book being read by the characters. It was a story about the characters being read by the characters, which then had a movie made about them and what their reactions were to both the book and the movie.

Overall, I'd rate this a 3 out of 5 - it's okay. Not for me, though I can see why others enjoy it.

Infertility: You Are Enough

A little back story...

Earlier this month I went to a writers workshop in Middlebury, Vermont as part of the Burlington Writers Workshop that I am a member of. I had submitted a poem to be critiqued, about softball, and I plan to submit it to some literary journals for publication.

The feedback I got was amazing and I am ever grateful for the group of people in that group because they are raw and mindful of the importance of constructive feedback. Normally we have two people who have their pieces "workshopped" and critiqued but this particular evening it was just me so we spent the first hour or so going over my piece. I was "in the box," which means I could not say anything while the other group rest of the group was discussing my piece. I came out of the box when they were done, loving the feedback and have a lot to work with to tweak the poem.

Next, we worked on a prompt - we were to write about something you wish somebody had told you. The member who gave the prompt has been leading writing workshops or writing groups for probably 20-25 years if not more. He said that my poem had inspired him to bring this prompt to this group that night because the theme of the poem was something that was obviously to him something that I had wish I had been told when I was playing softball when I was a kid, but were things that I have learned over the years on my own.

The prompt inspired me to write about what I wish I had known about my infertility diagnosis.

I wish I knew it was a possibility. I wish during sex-ed that infertility was mentioned as something that happens. I wish that sex-ed, specifically around puberty and periods, was not taught in such a way that it is assumed that people would all develop the same way, and that all women would start their period by a certain age or have the same flow as each other every 28 days. As we all know by adulthood, that is just not the case and I wish that was pointed out during sex-ed or told to me by my parents or somebody. As it turns out, I learned all of this the hard way when I hadn't started my period before I was 15. I went through all kinds of tests to figure out why and I ended up being diagnosed with MRKH, a form of primary infertility.

And so I am here to tell you what I wish I knew when I was younger. I want to tell you that you are enough. You are everything that you are supposed to be in this life. Despite your so-called flaws, despite your inability to do what the female body is supposedly supposed to do, you are enough. You are one hundred percent who you are supposed to be. This struggle, this infertility struggle that you are going through is making you stronger, it is making you more compassionate, and it is a test you will pass.

You are not alone. Your infertility journey, by society's standards, makes you feel like you're alone, like you're living in isolation and nobody else knows what you're experiencing. I am here to tell you that while not everybody's experiences are the same, there are people who empathize and understand what you're going through without you having to explain it to them. You are more than your infertility journey because it is only one piece of the pie, it is only one fraction of your life and who you are as a person.

You are everything you are meant to be in this life.
You are loved.
You are not alone.
You are enough.

This video, titled Not Alone, sums it all up. It's produced by American Greetings as part of their "Give Meaning" to relationships campaign. It's what convinced me to share my answer to the writing prompt with you.

June Wrap-Up and July Forecast

Well, I think I was a bit overambitious for June considering I was traveling for half the month. I was really hoping I could get some books read in the car if I wasn't driving and listening to some audiobooks. Turns out I didn't have as much down time as I had anticipated!

Books Read in June

1. The Alchemist by Paul Coelho
2. Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise by Thich Nhan Naht

Posts for Books Read in June

None!

Posts for Books Read Before June

1. The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien
2. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
3. The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant
4. Bag Balm & Duct Tape: Tales of A Vermont Doctor by Beach Conger, M.D.

Reading Challenges Updates

No new challenges in June.

Audiobook Challenge 2017

This challenge goes all year along, so any audiobooks in 2017 count. Since I listened to 7 books so far this year, I am at the Weekend Warrior level.

Read Women 2017

This is a challenge on Goodreads that lasts all year long. I have completed 8 of the 13 books I plan to read this year.

2017 Goodreads Reading Challenge

12 books completed out of my 55 to read goal, which means I am 15 books behind schedule. Ahhhh!

Top Five

1. Favorite Book: Silence: The Power of Quiet in A World Full of Noise by Thich Nhat Nahn because of it's content about cultivating mindfulness and the author's ability to break down the practice into manageable steps, and providing real life examples. This is my first time reading this book and I've had it book for a couple years, and I think that was subconsciously intentional because I wasn't ready until I was. I also just happen to participate in a 4-week Cultivating Mindfulness Workshop Series this spring, which helped give me some context for mindfulness practices.
2. Least Favorite Book: The Alchemist by Paul Coelho - only because I had forgotten I had listened to it until I checked my Goodreads for the books I read in June. It didn't make a good enough impression on me for to even remember that I had listened to it.  
3. Most Exciting Moment: being at my cousin's wedding and witnessing her perfect day marrying her best friend. They are made for each other. I am so happy I was able to be a part of it and witness their love for each other. 
4. Least Exciting Moment: Realizing I had been in the car for a total of 48+ hours for a road trip just in travel between destinations, not including driving around said destinations. That's a lot of car riding without reading as much as I'd hoped!
5. Favorite Part of June: I'm listing a few here:
1. Attending my cousins wedding
2. Launching my Pampered Chef Consultant business
3. Making a weekend out of seeing 2 Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds concerts
4. Seeing friends and family I rarely get to see

July Forecast

I plan to finish reading or listening to the 4 books on my Currently Reading List:

1. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
2. Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult 
3. Rokitansky by Alice Darwin
4. Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon

At least 1 post per week - content is TBD!

Happy Reading, and most of all Happy 4th of July!