Review: Rokitansky by Alice Darwin

This book. All the feels. The only non-textbook I've highlighted and marked up. The first book in a long time that took me a journal entry and a day and a half to mentally and emotionally process before I could talk about it. I have the same condition as the main characters (Rokitansky, also known as MRKH), and reading this book made me grateful for all the support I've had regarding my syndrome and yet angry that any woman has to suffer the emotional and physical trauma of infertility and resulting shitty relationships.

Rokitanksy by Alice Darwin captures the ups and downs of MRKH so well, I definitely recommend this to anyone and everyone who'll read it. My only advice is to make sure you have tissues nearby, especially for the twist at the end! I had this for 4 years and I was finally able to get through it, even though I had to take a break every 20 pages or so to breathe and remind myself that I'm okay! I wonder if it took me 4 years to get around to reading this because I needed to be in an emotionally strong enough place in my life to be able to handle the roller coaster of emotions.

Darwin does an amazing job of portraying the emotions of an MRKH diagnosis at every stage of life, even when it seems like the older woman isn't affected anymore. She's at a stage in her life where it doesn't bother her much anymore - the diagnosis is hardly even mentioned until the end.

Moira is trying to navigate college life and figuring out who she is as a person, while fighting an internal battle of constant reminders of what she doesn't have since she's living with female roommates. She throws herself into a shopping addiction instead of dealing with the problem head on because she feels so ashamed of who she is and can't bring herself to share her experience with others. She has internalized her mothers feelings towards the condition, and believes that she can't make the decision for herself of who she can and cannot tell.

Tori yearns to be a mother at any cost. She wishes the cost of her dreams was only financial, and not also the price of her marriage. She wishes she and her husband Harry could go back to what life was like before they hired a surrogate. Harry wants their journey to parenthood to end because he sees how it is destroying her - the beautiful woman he once fell in love with has been taken over by a stranger, a brokenhearted woman he does not recognize and does not know how to help. Yet, somehow they figure out to communicate again and come to a decision with which they could both be happy about. 

Mrs. Brown is tired. So very tired of everything, of life. She misses seeing Mr. Brown more often, and hopes that something will give and they'll be able to spend more time together. Rokitansky is not mentioned in her story line until the every end of the book, which makes me wonder if she's come to terms with the condition and is "okay with it."

It is the last chapter when we understand why Rokitansky was at the forefront of Moira and Tori's stories, but not with Mrs. Brown. It is a twist that I saw coming roughly 3/4 of the way through, but wasn't entirely sure how it would play out.

Darwin shows us the heartbreak, anger, confusion, strength, love, perseverance, and courage that are synonymous with Rokitanksy, and any infertility diagnosis. Out of pain, comes beauty. Out of the ashes, a phoenix rises.